My white father worked for most of his life professionally and volunteering in different non-profits and government positions (not a politician) working to combat inequality and racism. He won awards for his work. And he did this. 🤦‍♀️ He would always say, "My black friend..." or whatever. I think it was something his generation had to do. Yes, it can totally be racist. And often is. But sometimes, like for him (and others), I think it is more like virtue signaling. Growing up in a time (Boomer generation) and country (USA) where having a black friend for a white person was often really controversial, I think that people who wanted to break that taboo started to be bold about saying that they had no problem about having a person of color in their life. But it is a habit that needs to die. Even if people do it from good intentions, it is not the right way to say it. The problem is that it "others" people. Makes it a case of us white people and those other people. So, even if it is done because someone is trying to include a non-white person in their life, it actually has the opposite effect.

I do not mean to assume any motives of the mother of the comment I am replying to. It just made me think of my own father who taught me and raised me to be sensitive to these issues, but then he failed in this way. But he had some problems with dementia as well his last few years and his memory was shot, making it hard for him to learn new things. But hearing him talk like that always disappointed me.